kaylee's cali adventures

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Friend and Family Dates...

this last week has been so much fun!!! saturday was my "date day" with my dad... we went out to breakfast together, then went and did some shopping at walmart cuz we both had giftcards--we also were planning on making dinner that night together because my mom hurt her back really bad, so we had to make sure we got everything we needed for that. now that is funny. normally i only shop with girls, so it was really fun (and funny) shopping with my dad. :) i had SO much fun, though!!! then we came home and watched Prince Caspian before we started dinner. overall, it was one of my favorite days of Christmas break so far. :) so then sunday i went out with kenzi and a couple of girls from church: tierney and stacey. we went out to lunch and just talked (stacey is getting married!!!) so we had a LOT to talk about. :) and yesterday was sister day. kenzi and i decided to brave the mall (which is still CRAZY after the holidays) and we shopped for a few hours. we walked into this one new store that we have--forever 21--and it is so humongously big that we just kind of stood there with our mouths hanging open. what's funny, though, is that we didn't look weird. everyone in the store was just sort of wandering around with their mouths hanging open. we just don't normally have stores that ginormously large in idaho!!! :) but we had giftcards, so it had to be done. we did survive, by the way. :)
so, all of that has been great fun, but there has also been some hard stuff i'm working on... last night i just started to feel really crummy. it just kind of hit me all of a sudden and at first i had no idea why i was feeling that way. when i realized what it was, it only took me a second longer to understand why it was happening... i'm home. being home is not the bad thing, but when i'm in san diego it's so much easier to avoid certain pressures because i'm surrounded by people who, like myself, are just diving into a deeper relationship with God. but it works out so nicely because they plan my days out for me. i don't have to "schedule in" my prayer time--they do it for me!!! so now that i'm home, and it is entirely up to me whether or not i'm going to pray and seek God, i notice how easily God slips off of my "to-do list." and i don't think God wants to be on a list, he wants me to want to meet with him, but sometimes it's easy to place him not only on the list, but on the bottom of the list. anyways, i've been doing pretty good having moments with God every day, but it's not enough!!!! just because i'm not at master's right now does not give me permission to lessen my time spent with God---matter of fact, it should increase!!! i NEED him more now that i'm home! so that was my huge revelation from my prayer time last night. i kept asking God, "why am i struggling with this again? i thought i was over it..." and it just felt like God was saying, "let it go. all you need to do is spend time in my presence, and then things like this won't hold such power over you." if anyone is confused right now, the "issue" that i'm dealing with is my self-image. i've struggled with seeing myself through the world's eyes for a long time, and slowly God is beginning to heal me in this area. but every now and then, it becomes harder to see myself as God sees me--his child, whom he loved enough to die for--and so very easy to see myself in the wrong way--"you don't fit the 'image' of a perfect girl." i understand, though, that i cannot overcome this on my own--believe me, i've tried! and God doesn't promise instant healing--it is a daily "dying to myself" kind of thing--but he does promise to hold me when i'm hurting, and to heal me if i'll run to him.
i wrote another song the other day and some of the lyrics kind of apply to this--the first verse talks about how only God knows where my life will lead me, but it's the second verse and the chorus that pertain to this:

my will grows weary
as i walk this road
and i can't do this
when i walk alone
so i'll keep running
into your arms

my heart is crying
my soul is thirsting
all of me is longing
for you

and there will be no tears
and i will thirst no more
all my desires will be satisfied
for you satisfy
you satisfy
you

hopefully that encourages someone. no matter what hurts or struggles you're going through, run to God and you will find him. he might not make the difficulty go away, but he will make sure that you get through it---he'll hold you. he'll carry you. he adores you. :)

Saturday, December 27, 2008

God is really cool... :)

okay, so i was, once again, astounded by God's faithfulness to me. he has a habit of blowing my mind when i let him :)
so i read crazy love by francis chan, and one of the huge things that i got out of the book was that christians don't truly trust God with their finances. we work so hard to become financially stable that even if we didn't have God in our lives, we would make it just fine... so i felt challenged. i've heard that it is impossible to outgive God. the one thing he asks that we test him in is our finances--will he come through for us when the money is thin or completely gone? well, i went out to lunch the other day, not knowing that God was going to use that lunch at applebees to show me his faithfulness. the bill came to $24 and so i was going to leave $30, but i only had two 20's...so i left them and went to use the bathroom. that was my mistake and the waitress assumed that the money was all for her--so i was out $40 for one lunch!!!!! well, my first response was "oh." cuz i knew it was my fault and i also knew that there was no way i was going to ask for my money back---how rude!!! :) so i said, "okay, God. i probably could have used that $40 for something else, but i'm going to trust you to provide for me." well, walking out, the girl i went to lunch with gave me a birthday/christmas present. i opened it and there was an adorable teddy bear and a yummy-smelling lotion kit...and a card. she told me to open it because she was pretty sure there was money in it. guess how much. Forty Dollars. Two Twenties. Exactly what i had left at applebees. i kind of just sat there in stunned silence and then i was like, "God, you are so cool." :) :) :) :) no matter how much money i give away to bless others or how little money i have, God will come through for me. he promises.
another way cool thing that God did that day was show me how he really does answer my prayers. i keep a prayer box up in my room where i write down and date different prayers so that i can go back later and write "answered" when they're answered. (yeah, i know, that's a duh! :) but it really is fun to write "answered." it makes me thankful. so anyways, i was reading through them all, and most of them i had to put back because they are still prayers that i'm dealing with, but there was one that just awed me. i wrote: August '08-- God, please send me one friend while i'm in san diego. i don't know anybody down there and i'm afraid because i don't want to be alone.
well, look what God did!!! i have four best friends as roommates!!!!!!!!!!! i couldn't have picked a better group myself! he placed exactly the right people in my life exactly when i needed them. i love you brindy, kim, stevie, and melissa!!! :)
God, you are so amazing---thank you for providing for me and blessing me beyond my imagination. i ask that when i go through hard times i would remember your faithfulness to me. you always know what's happening, and you are my Protector and my Refuge. help me to continue trusting you in everything, especially in my finances. you never let me down, even when things don't work out the way i think they should. i love you.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

It's CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! :) :)

so this morning, in my excitement to get down stairs and see what was under the tree, i was frantically brushing my teeth when, in my haste, my hand slipped. i ended up practically throwing my toothbrush across the bathroom, spraying toothpaste in its wake. looking back, i'm still confused as to how exactly that happened...maybe i really was too excited about the presents and i needed a reevaluation of what Christmas is really about. :) i'll be spending today hanging out with my family, watching kung fu panda (an excellent Christmas movie...) and thanking God for the gift of his Son. i LOVE Christmas---it's probably the most awesome day of the entire year!!!! :) :) :) i hope everyone reading this has the best Christmas of their lives!!!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas Eve!!! :)

i am so excited to be blogging again!!! it seems like it has been forever (probably because it has been...) but now i have a few moments of free time so i can update everyone on my life! :) :)
the last few weeks of master's were a BLAST! we got to go to disneyland for a day and just be kids again... that was last tuesday...and then i flew home on wednesday!!! i was SO excited to see my family and friends again, but i'm missing all of my roomies real bad! i think the break came at a great time, though, because now we'll all hopefully be rested up and ready for the last five-month stretch. :) wednesday was my birthday and i turned 19---YAY! i pretty much just layed around all day (enjoying the beautiful view of the snow outside :) and then went to the Olive Garden with my family that night. i've been keeping pretty busy just spending time with my family and i'm loving every minute of it!!!!
okay, so now i'll try to remember some random stories from the past few weeks...
i ate my first philly cheese-steak sandwich and it was awesome! :)
como and i had a pancake cook-off competition and i kicked his butt!!! :) :) (i made apple-cinnamon pancakes and he made banana-nutella-honey-coffee pancakes) it was super fun!!!! :)
okay, so that was all about food and now i can't think of any more good stories :) my family is also kicking me off of the computer because they need to use it... ah the joys of being home. :) :) i hope everyone has a very merry Christmas and i'll try to blog again soon!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXO

Sunday, November 30, 2008

an incredible weekend with an amazing God

thanksgiving with baby emma!!! :)

brindy and emma <3>

stevie, kim, melissa, me

melissa and jess <3>

kim and jason

our thanksgiving dinner cruise

i look like i'm melissa's second head :)

ta da!!! :)

brindy got seasick... :( JK!!!!

brindy, stevie, melissa, me, and kim

today was literally the best day of my entire life!!! this weekend the master's students worked as security at Youth Convention...yeah, it was work, but i see it as getting to see planetshakers, switchfoot, and jeff deyo for FREE!!!! during the jeff deyo part of the concert, i actually was one of the security guards that stood at the very front of the crowd by the stage making sure nobody rushed the musicians... i'm pretty tough like that. :) actually, the other guards that were working with me kind of laughed because they thought i looked "too fragile" to be a tough security guard. oh well... if provoked, i think i could protect switchfoot. :) :)

anyways, while at the convention, i met big john... he is the most incredible christian i have ever met!!! he basically made me realize just how truly awesome God is, all while encouraging and uplifting me in my security duties... cuz i really wasn't very good at them. :) but he taught me that God knows the intimate details of every being and substance in creation, yet He desires a relationship with me. he taught me that many people have a heart for God, but what truly matters is having the heart of God. he taught me that church is simply having fellowship with people...talking to and spending time with those God places in your path. and he taught me that it is possible to find common ground and start a conversation with absolutely anybody. all it takes is showing someone a little kindness and love for them to see Jesus in you. because that is what Jesus did--he spent time with people, pouring out of himself and being a servant to anybody and everybody. i learned so much this weekend that it was just overwhelming. i realized that i will NEVER stop learning about God. if i let him, he will ALWAYS blow my mind. i am in love with an amazing God. :) :) :)