God is good ALL the time.

hello everyone!! wow...so the last couple of weeks have been incredible and incredibly difficult at the same time. God's been truly testing me and stretching my faith quite a lot. you know how we always sing songs like, "you are all i need" and stuff to God? but how true is that really???? i think that's one benefit to hard times--they sort of bring out who you really are and how deep your walk with God is. for me, i still have a long ways to go until i actually live like God is all i need, but i'm at least at the place where i WANT him to be all that i need. the bummer about that is when you pray that God be all you need, sometimes the other things you really like or hold on to will get taken away. it's like if you pray for patience--be prepared! cuz you're probably about to get caught in the worst traffic of your life or meet a person that will drive you nuts! God has a funny way of teaching us things, but it really is effective... :)
i also moved this week! finances are pretty tight here at master's, and so to cut back on the costs me and my roommies moved out of our 3-bed 2-bath apartment into a 2-bed 1-bath. it's actually super cute, and my roommates are way easy to live with, so the fact that it is a lot smaller isn't a big deal at all. we did almost flip out when we thought there wasn't going to be a washer and dryer, but praise the Lord, there is!!! ...the fact that they are in the kitchen is kind of funny, though. :)
speaking of funny... so, for some reason, the boys in this program are very...uh...united? so yesterday morning, como decided that he wanted to cut his hair into a mohawk---then he talked matt neff into doing it--then jeremiah. then robby. then jake. then jp. then josh. yes...it's true. master's boys turned into the mohawked men. it was so funny this morning because we all went out to breakfast and people just stare. seven boys with crazy mohawks--i just love our group. :) i'll post pictures of that in the next couple of days...
hmm...what else? tonight i have a backwards party in my missionettes class! they are working on their friendship badge, and so i thought that a lot of times friendship is backwards. if someone says something mean, you don't say anything mean back--if someone hurts you, you're supposed to love them--etc. so tonight all the girls have to dress backwards and bring backwards snacks and we're making necklaces and playing games...it will be fun!!! my backwards snacks are these carrot cookies that i made last night. they taste like carrot cake minus the frosting. they are "backwards" cuz vegetables don't normally go in cookies, right? it's funny cuz it was my idea to do backwards snacks, but then i had NO idea what i was going to do!!!! i'm excited to see what the kids thought of...there are prizes for the most creative! i'll let you know how it goes... ;)
God's been teaching me a lot about insecurities, too. i've started playing the keyboard (just pads--nothing intense :) for college group on tuesday nights for the worship team, and last night they had me back-up sing, too. and i pretty much failed miserably. i didn't hit wrong notes or anything---i just basically chickened out!!! i couldn't do it!!! i just ducked my head away from the microphone and focused very studiously on playing the keyboard!!! how lame am i????? it's like the second i get in front of people my throat constricts and my voice becomes this raspy whisper. and i know it's my own fault. and i know my voice is my instrument that God gave me to praise him. and i know that i'm only playing/singing for an audience of One and all that. but did that help me last night???? nope.
really, it helped to humble me. ...and boy isn't that a fun lesson to learn. :) but i know that the experience is great for me, and i will eventually apply all those things that i "know" and listed above--it might just take me some time to allow God complete control over that area of my life. i don't know why, because acting in front of people doesn't scare me; public speaking does, but not too horribly. but when it comes to singing, i want to melt into a puddle of fear and sink into a large hole that magically opens up beneath me. i guess singing makes me feel more vulnerable than anything else... so isn't that great? :) :) God really is awesome, though, and i have a desire to praise him with my voice and be vulnerable in front of people so that they can enter into worship too, so God will help me to overcome my insecurities...i have faith in that. :)
so that's my life right now...there's more, but i gotta go "backwards-ify" myself for my party, so i'll post some pics and more of my thoughts on life in the next couple of days. i love you all and thank you for your prayers! remember---God is so good, and that does not depend on our circumstances at all!!!! no matter what, God is good!!!!!!!! :)